Maybe It’s Time for America to go Batshit

You know, America has a certain personality it has to maintain, as a world power, whenever threats or actions are taken against her. She’s required to be mature, to take threats as “big talk” until some major action comes from them. And when that action comes, she is expected to remain calm and to “work through the issue” promising justice to those that have wronged her.

You’ll notice that I refer to America as a woman, as do pretty much the rest of the world. And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe that’s why those people who have no respect for women view America (and Americans) the same way – a stereotypical way – weak, emotional, indecisive. But as we here in America know, that stereotype is from a long-forgotten age.

I think it’s time to let America out of her shackles and allow her to act as any Mother would when her children are threatened (ISIS and North Korea take note), or if her home were attacked (Boston Marathon cowards take note) – it’s time for America to go batshit. You guys know what I’m talking about – a woman scorned or wronged – your worst nightmare – fatal attraction times forty. The kind of batshit that will make ALL other countries worry that maybe we’ve gone “over the edge” after “one too many” incidents. After all, isn’t it FEAR that keeps an enemy in check? And who really fears someone that is calm, mature and “works through the issues”? Nobody. But who fears the “potentially crazy” person that’s normal until you push them too far? Everybody – well, everybody except other crazy folks, but pretty much everybody.

Now I’m not saying that we need to live this way. But just once (and hopefully that would be enough to get our point across) let the dog off the leash to get the squirrel. I think Popeye said it best “That’s all I can stands, ‘cause I can’t stands no more” and I think that maybe America should seriously consider his philosophy. After all, in a lot of ways, America is like Popeye. He didn’t go around looking for a fight, and he tolerated an awful lot before he’d utter that phrase. But when he did, watch out – he’d down some spinach and clean some clocks. And when it was all said and done, he’d go back to the way things were, harboring no ill feelings and just as calm as can be with a “skideup bup bup bup bup bo”.